I really have been extremely quiet on here and I am a bit ashamed of this. How are any customers suppose to get in contact with me if I can’t even update my own homepage? Well, I want to change this and for this purpose I want to change some things here. As you can see we already have a different design. This is down to the courtesy of my husband. So a big hurray for that.
The other thing that I want to change is the content of this page. I don’t just want to use this for shop purposes anymore. I want to use it as kind of a diary. But let me explain it in more details to you.
As most of you might have gathered by now: I was not always a jewellery designer. I actually had a career and a job that kept me extremely busy. I worked on Creanoir during my university studies and used it as a vehicle to make some money with the thing I love most: crafting, sewing and designing in general. And this worked out brilliantly. Due to Creanoir I was able to go to concerts and festivals and really enjoy student life. But as it is with all things: All good things must come to an end.
And in my case that happened when I started working full time. I didn’t have the time at all to do a lot of DIY or designing. I still was making jewellery as I just go stir crazy if I am not working creatively but in general I was just too tired and exhausted to do anything else then work, sleep and repeat. But don’t get me wrong. I loved my job. And I still do. I am a counselor by trade and I always loved helping other people. I have worked with alcoholics and drug addicts. I have worked with children in a care setting and outside and my main focus was always helping women fleeing from domestic violence. I worked in refuges and I actually trained to be a Independent Domestic Violence Advisor, my absolute dream job!
I worked for about ten years in the field, sometimes part time next to my studies and then after my master full time. As I said this completely brought my creative ambitions to a stand still but it was okay. I helped people, I was doing what I always wanted to do and at the end of the day I could sit down and be proud for having made other people’s lives better.
Why am I telling you all this? And how are we getting from a happy Domestic Violence Advisor to a jewellery designer? Well, this story unfortunately doesn’t have a happy end really. Life is not that easy.
It was about 2011 that I started feeling not very well. I already had hiccups in the past regarding my health, but this time it was quiet bad. I ended up in A&E over Christmas that year and that really started a whole new journey in my life. The doctors found out that my Endometriosis had grown back and I needed surgery again. I had to wait for half a year until I had that surgery and inbetween the beginning of the year and the actual surgery I was not able to work during long stretches of time. I sat at home and couldn’t really do much. Next to the pain and symptoms from the Endometriosis I could feel other things going wrong, but just pushed it aside. I couldn’t really walk very well anymore and had really bad pain in my hips. It turned out, that I had Fibromyalgia on top of the Endometriosis and the doctors also are fearing that I inherited Psoriatic Athritis from my family.
So here I was, with loads of different diagnoses and even more symptoms. I tried to continue working, but it was not possible. So I had to hand in my notice to a job that meant so much to me. It broke my heart.
But as they say: When one door closes, another one opens. And this is absolutely true in my case.
Yes, I couldn’t work in a normal job anymore. No employer would touch me with a barchpole as I never know how I will feel during a day. I might be okay and just have mild pain. But I also might be extremely sick and not be able to leave my bed. Who would want to employ me? So I decided to go back to what I know quiet well: Being creative and designing new things.
I remembered Creanoir and how much fun I always have creating so many things for other people. It is almost perfect. I can work from home and if I feel bad during a morning, I can just lay on the couch and see what the day brings. If I am okay, hurray, let’s get some work done.
Okay, I see that I still haven’t explained why I am writing all this.
I said that I wanted to change the purpose of this blog. And so I am. I want to include into this blog my daily struggles. I am not just creating jewellery and other things. I am in a way a living, breathing proof that you can still have a life and do something that you love even if you got a bucket load of chronic illnesses and have to give up working in a regular nine to five job.
In a way my illnesses opened a great opportunity for me. I always wanted to work creatively and I always wanted to give Creanoir a proper go. But you know how it is. There are all these doubts and I had a job that paid the bills and that I really, really liked. It sounded crazy to give that up for Creanoir. My illnesses took this choice away from me and now I have to make a go of this as it is the best possible solution. It might feel a bit like sink or swim but hey, I have nothing else to loose.
So what I want to do with this blog is to share how these two things go together: Being sick and trying to get better and on the other side starting a new careers, a new life somehow. I really want to show people what my life is like. For some of my customers it might be completely irrelevant and they might be just interested in my sparkelies, which is totally fine. Some people might find the idea interesting and might want to know more about the background of me and my creations. And I also hope that there will be some readers who can find themselves in what I do. They might have chronic issues themselves, they might have to rebuild their life again from scratch like I have to right now. If I just can give one person a little glimpse of hope that you can still achieve things even if you have a handicap then I am more then happy. Then I am helping other people again, just like I always tried to do.
Yes, life is not easy when you have a chronic illness. Yes, it feels unfair and it sometimes feels like your whole existence just came crashing down all around you. But believe me: It is not the end! Your way in life might be different from how you imagined it, but that’s okay. See it as a learning curve, as fate or whatever really. They say in my native tongue that a flower can grow out of the biggest mess. That’s true and that’s what I want to share with you.